Nurse Training in the UK.

I recently was asked to talk to some newly qualified nurses who we had just employed. My remit was:
'Tell them about your role and what we expect from them. Scare the shit out of them please....we need to sort them out from the start.'

Does that sound cruel and unprofessional to you? Yes...it does, doesn't it, until you realise what we're up against.

There they were...all fresh faced and enthusiastic, raring to go and save lives...the cream of the crop. Our interview process now consists of a whole day of tests....drug assessments, patient care planning, team work and finally after lunch, those who pass all of that are interviewed. (In my day, we had a 20 minute chat with the sister of the ward we wanted to work on and we were in.) So why do we go to such lengths to recruit into such junior positions? Because three years training and a diploma or a degree in Nursing does not guarantee they are able to perform basic skills. So how do they qualify as registered nurses in modern day Britain if they cannot perform a simple drug test?...this is a basic chore of any practising nurse, I hear you cry.

Well, fuck knows...but they do. This is why myself and my peers have to spend a whole day doing something that used to take a couple of hours to ensure we don't inadvertently employ a walking law suit. Their qualification does not guarantee they can do the job.

Whilst talking to my embryo nurses one of them asked me, 'Who shows us how to insert nasogastric tubes and things like that?'. I was speechless. Bless her heart, she didn't realise...wasn't her fault , so I was REALLY nice about it, but sadly, unable to hide my horror.

'How can you have done 3 years training and not have been shown how to do that?'

'I know...but they don't show us. I can write you a fantastic essay though on social issues'.( She said this tongue in cheek...the girl was not stupid.)

Aaaarrrrggghhhhh!!!! (That was in my head by the way..I have to be professional occasionally).What can you do? WHAT CAN YOU DO????

You never see a nurse tutor on the wards any more, teaching the basic skills required ,during their training. So, people are now being employed to teach the nurses after they have been trained.(My job).Gosh....doesn't that make sound economical, practical and financial sense? NOT.

I recently bathed an old lady...she was over the moon...went around the ward telling anyone that would listen that the nice nurse over there had bathed her and washed her hair. A second year student told me she had never bathed a patient. Two years of nursing and she had never given any one a bath! We're talking basic stuff here...not rocket science. Don't hold your breath waiting for their teeth to be cleaned or their hair to be brushed. And God help you if you ask a nurse to describe the signs of infection.....I frequently have to go and hide while I fight the urge to kick, scream and then weep.

Florence Nightingale was famous for being a nurse reformer...well, we need a darn sight more reforming now then we ever did in the days of the Crimea. We have the facilities and the knowledge to deliver what the patients need at no extra expense...we're talking basic needs here.Every ward has a bathroom and a bar of soap. It has to boil down to attitude and grass roots training.

I would love to go and train nurses from scratch, but I don't have the level of qualifications required.(ie: a degree or preferably a masters or even a PHd). No, instead of hiding my nose in academia for the past 10 years and never setting foot in a hospital ward, I have 20 years of hands on, practical experience, including the running of an Intensive Care Unit, several courses relevent to my experience, plus a Cert. Ed and the personality and guts to do something when I see something wrong. Obviously not enough.

Oh well....I'm sure my myraid of managers know what they're doing...after all, they've shaken hands with Tony and I haven't......