What's the point.....

To celebrate my new negative, fuck-you stance on life I have decided to list the things in life I consider totally pointless:


Slugs....what do they actually do apart from spread slime and eat your marigolds. Bastards.


Stupid signs. Do 'they' really think we need nannying to the extent where we need a sign to tell us what is right under our noses. The people who need the benefit of these signs are so stupid they probably either have a minder with them anyway or if not, just deserve to die. If all the idiots in the world walked off cliff edges it would probably be to the advantage of the rest of us.

Armpit hair. Why??????!!!!!!

Ditto...nasal hair. Actually, it does serve a purpose but I'm ignoring it as I find it so repellent. And on a woman....well...shame on you. You know who you are........

Ylang ylang and passion fruit clothes detergent. ...for crying out loud!!! Do they really think we're that fucking stupid. The other day I saw Advocado and Paw paw......Please. As long as your clothes don't smell of armpit or arse, who cares. .......and how will any one be able to smell your Chanel no.5 if you're wafting around in synthetic Ylang ylang...C'mon girls...get your priorities right.

Small penises. You all knew this was coming...don't look so shocked. SIZE MATTERS.....otherwise why would rampant rabbits be so popular. In fact, I bet there are more rampant rabbits in the UK than there are penises over 5 inches

.

Personalised number plates. What purpose do they serve other than to say 'I'm a rich bastard, and I'm so rich I can afford to spend hundreds of pounds on item that serves no purpose apart from telling you all how rich I am. Oh...and I'm also a lower class, selfish, c**t as it's very poor taste to flaunt wealth in this manner, but I'm such a Chav it probably wouldn't occur to me that the money I have spent could have kept a family of 6 in Rwanda going for the next 12 months. Hey...I'm such a prat, I haven't even heard of Rwanda......I'm too busy tele-voting on Saturday night TV'. I think you probably get my point by now.

Garden gnomes. I'm sorry...they are not ornamental, they're fucking creepy.

I could go on for hours, but will spare you all. I did enjoy that though.

P.S. No word from any of the bastards in my life still, so it looks like the rabbit is going to need new batteries soon. I've also joined a new dating website.....where your friend writes about you instead of writing yourself. (And the Tall Guy obliged....bless his heart).The theory is that they might be a little more genuine seeing as it's their friends , not them...if you get my drift.We shall see...we shall see. I was going to take a break for a while and do the curling up and dieing thing, but it's just not in my nature, so I'm back on a major assault again.

I'll let you know what happens.