The Cameraman

Back in January I met The Cameraman. We talked on line for a while, then we spoke on the telephone, but to be honest I wasn't too keen at the time as my sights were set on another. He persued me relentlessly.

After a while I started to warm to the guy, but felt we would probably just be friends. In fact, I once told him to piss off as I was in the bath getting ready for another date. (And do you know what, I can't even remember who with now!) Gradually though we spent more and more time talking...again, about what I wouldn't have the first idea. Some of it was about his exploits as a cameraman, as he worked for a major news channel and had been all over the world covering some amazing events. I would defy any of you reading this not to have seen something he had filmed. Anyway, we decided to meet. I was starting to become impressed, and more to the point, liked him.

I didn't make much of an effort the first time. Ok...I was bathed and had make up on , but that's common courtesy to anyone you're meeting, in my opinion. We met at Hampton Court Palace. It was a freezing cold day and we walked round and round. I can remember feeling vaguely disappointed when I first saw him. Not my type at all. BUT....and this is a massive but...he had the most amazing voice and accent. Now, I would love to tell you what the accent was, but there can't be that many cameramen fitting all these descriptions in London and I'm trying to make this reasonably anonymous. Just take my word for it...his voice is orgasm on a stick and he knows it.

After an hour and a couple of coffees things really began to thaw, and I don't just mean the weather.He suddenly grabbed the lapels of my coat and sort of lifted me into the air and REALLY kissed me. Now I'm 5'10", and although I am slim,I'm no little lightweight. (he's 6'5" by the way).It was a major swoon moment and from that moment on the guy had me. And that's when I started to lose him.

He plonked me on a seat and kissed and kissed and kissed me, like a pair of teenagers. (It's moments like that , that make you ok with the world). For the next couple of weeks we continued to talk on the 'phone. This guy was getting seriously horny now and starting to tell me all the delicious things he would do to me next time we met. Then he suddenly said we couldn't meet. He would have to sleep with me and it wouldn't be a meaningless shag, it would be quite significant and he wasn't emotionally ready for that. (Recently split from the mother of his kids, I forgot to mention that, but to be honest most of them are.) Well, if that's ever what a girl wants to hear it's that. I got myself round there like a shot.

Three orgasms later we fixed the next visit. Next visit, four climaxes and lots of meaningful other stuff that made me think, hmmm,we're going somewhere here. However, he was then posted off to Africa. Now I'm not a clingy woman and I'm cool with guys that travel and long breaks in relationships/fuck buddies/whatever. He said he would contact me from out there, although I said, Don't worry, I'm cool, if you're busy, it's not a problem. But he did...several times. I thought...he must really like me.(Is that a reasonable assumption?)

Then he came back. Nothing. I waited (like I said...not clingy). I waited some more. Still nothing. Ok...I was starting to get a bit pissed off. So were my mates as I kept asking them whether I should call or not. I called him . Nothing. And so on,,,blah blah blah you get the picture, right? Now, I am a realist, and I know peoples feelings change, particularly when other things in their life change, but it doesn't hurt to do the courteous thing and just let someone know you're not interested any more. I sent him an e-mail asking him if that was the case, and if so, could he let me know and all the best ,mate, etc...No answer.I think his motivation was getting me into him in the first place then it was goal reached, drop that one. I felt so hurt...incredibly so. It was quite painful actually to be persued so relentlessly and then dropped more quickly.

A couple of months later I was ok about it, getting on with my life, meeting others (enter the Beast...always good for taking a girls mind off things!) Cue contact out of the blue. He's missing me... wants to be friends... I'm the only one he can talk to....he's got a girlfriend. I talked back. Gave him 5 minutes of telling off then was my usual lovely self. Regular msn and e-mailing resumed. (Yes, yes...I know, I invite them in, don't I?). Off to Beruit. Loads of late night msn with webcam and a few naughty moments. (This is recent). Wants to meet when back in UK. Blah blah blah.

Well he's back in the UK and guess what...nil, nada, zilch, possibly dead. Who knows? Can anyone PLEASE tell me the psychology behind this? I'm too aware to be hurt again but I do have a soft spot for this guy and wish things had been different.

And now I think FM has done the same thing. (Still no contact. But the balls in his court now...he knows I'm interested. If he is then he'll call, if not then he won't. Me calling him won't change that, but I won't humiliate myself either.)

P.S. It's one of lifes ironies that the guys I really like are never the ones that like me and vice versa. Do you think there's someone out there that could ever possibly be the one to work both ways?

P.P.S. I spoke to the Beast today. He said talking to me made him feel perkier and he was really glad I'd rung. It was quite a nice feeling actually.I was just about to say, 'and I thought you only wanted me for my body' when he told me off as although we had only talked for 15 minutes he would now have to spend another 15 looking at my 'photo's with his dick in his hand. Oh what it is to be admired!