Frankenstein.

This new dating website is totally crap. Last night I e-mailed 8 guys, with just a 'Hello...like your profile, it would be lovely to hear from you' and I've had NOTHING back.

One guy ,who resembles Frankensteins Monster has added me to his favourites. He hasn't even got the balls to send an e-mail.

When I joined the other one I was innundated....and still go through good patches. I joined a sex contact site for a month (thought it might be a little more honest....the guys on there just are straight to the point....they want a shag full stop. None of this ' I want a relationship' bullshit, then they just shag you and leave you high and dry, ) and was inundated, and that had a picture of me in nothing but a thong! (I have to say here, I didn't meet anyone from there in the end...it was too clinical for me. And I DO want a relationship of some description.)

So what's going wrong this time?

God...have you taken a contract out on me? Could I suggest now and again you take a day off......??