What's the point.....

To celebrate my new negative, fuck-you stance on life I have decided to list the things in life I consider totally pointless:


Slugs....what do they actually do apart from spread slime and eat your marigolds. Bastards.


Stupid signs. Do 'they' really think we need nannying to the extent where we need a sign to tell us what is right under our noses. The people who need the benefit of these signs are so stupid they probably either have a minder with them anyway or if not, just deserve to die. If all the idiots in the world walked off cliff edges it would probably be to the advantage of the rest of us.

Armpit hair. Why??????!!!!!!

Ditto...nasal hair. Actually, it does serve a purpose but I'm ignoring it as I find it so repellent. And on a woman....well...shame on you. You know who you are........

Ylang ylang and passion fruit clothes detergent. ...for crying out loud!!! Do they really think we're that fucking stupid. The other day I saw Advocado and Paw paw......Please. As long as your clothes don't smell of armpit or arse, who cares. .......and how will any one be able to smell your Chanel no.5 if you're wafting around in synthetic Ylang ylang...C'mon girls...get your priorities right.

Small penises. You all knew this was coming...don't look so shocked. SIZE MATTERS.....otherwise why would rampant rabbits be so popular. In fact, I bet there are more rampant rabbits in the UK than there are penises over 5 inches

.

Personalised number plates. What purpose do they serve other than to say 'I'm a rich bastard, and I'm so rich I can afford to spend hundreds of pounds on item that serves no purpose apart from telling you all how rich I am. Oh...and I'm also a lower class, selfish, c**t as it's very poor taste to flaunt wealth in this manner, but I'm such a Chav it probably wouldn't occur to me that the money I have spent could have kept a family of 6 in Rwanda going for the next 12 months. Hey...I'm such a prat, I haven't even heard of Rwanda......I'm too busy tele-voting on Saturday night TV'. I think you probably get my point by now.

Garden gnomes. I'm sorry...they are not ornamental, they're fucking creepy.

I could go on for hours, but will spare you all. I did enjoy that though.

P.S. No word from any of the bastards in my life still, so it looks like the rabbit is going to need new batteries soon. I've also joined a new dating website.....where your friend writes about you instead of writing yourself. (And the Tall Guy obliged....bless his heart).The theory is that they might be a little more genuine seeing as it's their friends , not them...if you get my drift.We shall see...we shall see. I was going to take a break for a while and do the curling up and dieing thing, but it's just not in my nature, so I'm back on a major assault again.

I'll let you know what happens.

Comments.

Thank you for the lovely comments and your lack of judgement. It will get better I know, but it all seems to have been going on so long.
What I failed to say was my decree absolute also came through in the week and it hit me harder than I thought, although in reality I'm glad to be shot of the bastard.
I spoke to the cameraman (he called me as it happens)and told him we must never have contact again. He was surprised and suggested we have a break and then hook up in a month....this was after I told him I was falling for him so he knows what he's dealing with here.I don't think he's totally cold about me. I was SO good...I said...no..unless your situation changes I don't want to hear from you. (Very honourable of me...the amount of women in the past that have been happy to cheat with my partners part of me thinks, why be any different, but I won't lower myself to that.) I'm worth more than being a bit on the side too....that's what a real slag is actually...someone who has no concern for the hurt she's causing. Plenty of those around, unfortunately.
I hope I can stick to my moral and self rightous guns...if he turned up on my doorstep I'm not sure I could.........
This blog will soon go back to being a light hearted one...don't bail out on me now.......

Tears before bedtime.

Everything you are about to read is not a word of a lie. I have had the most crazy week...to the point where I am so wrung out I'm not sure if I can cope with it. It's all my fault...but it's culminated with me spending the afternoon in floods of tears at my friends house. Now..I bet a lot of you could have predicted it would all end in tears, but we are not all so mindfull of the obvious until it hits us with the advantage of hindsite.

Saturday. It was my birthday last Friday and on Saturday I threw a party at my house. I had a fabulous time...my best friends were there and some other really lovely people. We drank, danced, talked...I even got my tap shoes out at one point, (but it was done tongue in cheek I must add!)The last people staggered off at 3.15 am ...and suddenly, I was there, totally alone. It was like being hit by a brick. Almost unbearable...I didn't even have children asleep upstairs. Not to mention the mess that had to be tackled. A painful end to a wonderful evening and it set the tone for the rest of the week.Now, as the kids were away for a week with The Ex I had made some plans so on ......

...Sunday Mr. Incredible came over for the evening. You have detected in the previous paragraph I'm not too keen on being alone these days. We drank wine, chatted (he really is lovely and very bright) and finally fucked ourselves stupid all over the house. It was excellent, and as predicted, the nice boy is as keen as ever. He stayed the night...we had another early jiggy session (6am...uurrgghh!!) as he had to go for work as it was......

..Monday. Now this is where you could start being judgemental. I had a bath, jumped into the car and drove 75 miles to visit the Beast. My lovely , mad man took me out to lunch , then we went for a walk and spent the best part of the day chatting and actually enjoying one anothers company, even though there was not an erect penis in sight. I started to feel that maybe the basis of our relationship could be changing. No....he still says I'm not the woman for him, although I tick all the right boxes. You go figure....I guess it's a chemistry thing. He doesn't seem to appreciate the fact it takes time to get to know a person before you can even consider whether they are the right person for you, but prefers to decide on the first meeting. We discussed this, retired to the bedroom and consummated our non-relationship (twice). I left late and battled down the motorway in torrential rain and got home after midnight,feeling sore and not a little unloved, but had to be up again at 6 for work on .....

Tuesday. Work was hell...I was so tired. I dragged myself around and made it through the day. No word from Mr Incredible, but I didn't expect there to be to be honest. I raced home, had a bath and prepared myself for the first meeting with Action Man. Yes...he's back and my God....LOVELY. I couldn't believe my luck. He was everything...but you know the pattern by now. If I love, they run...or so it seems. We spent a fabulous evening together...when he first kissed me I melted...he said all the right things, put on all the right music...and we ended up where you shouldn't on a first date, but I invariably do. All there was also in perfect working order ,and we woke up at 1am and had a repeat performance and again at 6.30, when he dragged me back to bed whilst trying to put on my makeup for work.(Me not him. Said I was beautiful, sexy, gorgeous...blah blah blah).It wasn't just a bang either...there was lots of stroking and eye gazing...all the stuff I like but also makes me think I could be on to a good thing when in reality, I'm probably not.When I left he didn't say anything about getting together again. Now ,you have to remember we have been e-mailing and talking for 2 months...have said a hell of a lot and know a lot about one another. Before he even met me he was talking about meeting up again and trying to work out when it would happen. He already loved my mind and my body seemed to do the trick too. So....2 days later...have I heard anything? Bollocks have I.

Wednesday. I'm limping by now, and feeling a tad slutty if the truth be known. I felt deflated as Action Man hadn't even said he would call. Tired, for obvious reasons...and this awful dread of returning to the house alone that evening. Going home was the vile experience I knew it would be, and I fell asleep in front of the TV like a complete saddo with no friends and no life.

Thursday. Slept until 11am. Delicious, but had to get out as soon as I could. I went to the gym and had a really hard work out (I'm looking good at the moment, even though I say so myself. Also still off the fags).I decided to go and spend my birthday money ...I wanted a pair of boots and found what I was looking for. Dragged it out for as long as I could but then decided to go and get something to eat. In the restaurant I read my book and sent out a few texts. I asked Mr. Incredible if he fancied trying out my dining room table for size...he texted back immediately but had tickets to go to something so he was unavailible. I then called the Beast..he was good for a chat, but he prefers to be the initiator, so I didn't suggest we do anything. I wanted to call Action Man, but something is holding me back big time there. I ate, then decided to go and see a movie...was a good film.Anything than sit alone in the house. While I was in there though, who should call but The Cameraman. He was in my message box being as charming as ever so I called him back. Now...please remember we had a tryst a couple of weeks ago...I had fully expected that to be it.
He was feeling crap and I was feeling crap so I suggested I pop over for a drink. Popped over the 50 odd miles in about 40 mins (I DO love the M25 at night...it really works). Got there at 10ish...we went for a drink and we talked seriously about our relationship and that he was commited to someone else (they're now about to move in together but I know that from e-mailing before) but how he still loves his ex etc etc... and I'm lovely and deserve to find what I'm looking for. He's still what I'm looking for, that's the trouble.
We went back for a cup of tea...had said tea..he kept looking at me and smiling, he was staring very intensely at times.He engineered it that we were both on the sofa with my legs over his.He started stroking my head. I started stroking his arm...every time I had smoothed all the little hairs out, he ruffled them up again, because he liked it. Then he stroked my knee, then I stroked his hand, then he stroked my left nipple....you get the picture. As soon as nipples are involved with me and the cameraman we are doomed . Next thing we are down on the floor, eye gazing and doing it. I was thinking...this is bad...he was thinking...this is bad...we were both thinking and saying it but couldn't stop it.

I have come to the grim realisation today, which is .....

Friday that I'm going to have to cease all contact between us. I'm falling in love and it's bloody painful, knowing he's about to move in with someone else. I think he's very confused and shouldn't be doing it, even if I were out of the equation. The moments we spend together are blissful, but they are few and far between and the pain in between is too intense. I think that's why I'm mucking about with the others, to try and take my mind off him. A lot of the time it works but something went too far last night and I have to stop it before I completely fall and seriously go round the bend.

I went to my friends house and sobbed for ages. Then I 'phoned The Tall Guy and blubbed down the 'phone to him...I'm so lucky to have him...I should never have dumped him, but hey....he's with a much better person than me now and he's the best ex you could ever have...! The Cameraman texted me in the middle of said blub. 'Hey you....ok?' I sent back, 'I don't know..how r u?, he sent back 'ok...guilty'. He said he would call me later.

The bottom line here is I have been to bed with 4 men in 4 days, partly because I'm a raving nympho, but mainly because I'm scared of being alone, and with the sex you get affection ,all be it temporary. It's the holding and caressing, not the banging that's important to me, but it's not a good way to go about things and has not made me happy.
Listen and learn. And you guys out there...treat your women a little better. You might have them down as a nympho slag, but perhaps...just perhaps...she's very fond of you but doesn't want to appear clingy or desperate.
I'll let you know what happens.

Blog I love.

I've found another blog I really love...check out 'Nurse Ratched's Place.' I actually have Nurse Ratched as my screen saver at work...I love her.
Well...this is really funny and true...although it is American, so some of it doesn't apply to us girlies (and boysies) over here.
Can't have everything......

Mr. Incredible

It appears that Mr. Incredible could potentially be back on the scene, all be it , briefly.

He's a guy I had a fling with 2 years ago, and 1 year ago, 29 (fledging really), works at the hospital (I won't say in what capacity) and is gorgeous. Arse like two boiled eggs in a handkerchief, long legs and a firm muscle bound chest. Bright blue eyes and very kissy lips. Yum yum. He's not from the internet, so I could be breaking the rules telling you about him, but they're my rules, so I choose to break them!

He has the nickname above for some time now, as his physique does resemble the Mr Incredible from the film.

We had a very passionate fling (he actually removed my knickers with his teeth!!!...get that!!!), but was hung up on his ex and didn't know what he wanted and it was on off on off,(in fact, it was him that broke it off by text...the boy can only talk in text which is NOT a plus point) and I got totally fed up with it. I hadn't long split up with the ex and was pretty vulnerable at the time so he didn't do me any favours. But every time he sees me, he starts it up again...

I bumped into him on Monday and Wednesday and last night got a couple of texts,hinting, but not actually asking to see me again. He's about to go up North to buy a house and change jobs, so there's no future in it, but I'm very tempted. He's divinely shaggable and there's not much else going on at the moment. I texted back a friendly but non-commital reply thinking 'Call me..for crying out loud!', but I did say these things tended to go in three's and was I bound to see him again today. But I didn't, so may have blown the opportunity as he's got an ego the size of Texas and there's any way he perceives you might turn him down (i.e. you're not a sure thing RIGHT NOW) he won't persue it, as the pride can't handle it. I think he's the sort that dumps before he gets dumped, if you can call it being dumped after one drink, one walk by the river and a shag.

He can't hurt me, and we both know the score so I don't know why he doesn't just text me, 'Fancy a shag, long legs?'. It would be a lot easier.

Jane Eyre

Have any of you been watching Jane Eyre on Sunday nights? Isn't it wonderful.
It's always been my favourite book and now for an hour a week I'm in complete heaven.
As for Mr Rochester....I'd f*** him, married or not. I suppose if I were around in those days I'd be the local harlot. Oh dear.

Cameraman Revisited

I saw the cameraman on Friday.

He came round for a 'coffee' as friends (has a girlfriend or so I'm led to believe) and lunch. Just as gorgeous as ever...very tall, slim, crinkly eyes, legs to die for. He bought me a present...a little tea caddy with weird teas in. I like presents like that...flowers are SO conventional and it shows he has imagination,. (Or some one gave it to him as a gift and he's getting rid of it! But it was in a pristine bag, so I choose to believe he made the effort).

We had polite coffee, then polite lunch (he loved my home made soup) and then we sat down again with tea. He came next to me on the same sofa..I have 2 in the room so there was a choice. I curled my legs up and occasionally we brushed. Talked for an hour. Then he said he had to go in 10 minutes . I must have had a look on my face as he asked me if I was disapointed.

'Not disappointed, but I was wondering if anything would happen. You are a very sexy man', I said. 'Oh well...give me hug before you set off' .

Now , I don't him that well if I'm honest, but I know what buttons to push so I pushed them. 5 minutes later we RAN up the stairs , clothes off in record time and you can guess the rest without me sounding like a mad housewife writing to Fiesta.It was passionate, intimate and included eye gazing and kissing.(In other words, not just a scratch the itch job).

So now I'm hooked again and back to bloody square one. We've spoken once since, but I'm holding back this time. He knows where I stand, but the trouble is , he doesn't know where he stands. The girlfriend can't mean that much to him if this is what he's up to, and I know he cares in his own funny way. He's just scared shitless of getting involved in something/someone that's going to make demands on him. I'll just have to wait and see.

Meanwhile, Action Man should be back soon, and I'm talking to another guy we shall name 'The Business Man'. I joked the other day about him making a million and it turned out not to be a joke! He's tall, slim, sporty and horny so he could be promising. At least I'll get dinner paid for.

A doctor is keen to meet me, but I'm not so keen, so all I talk about is work, in the hope it will put him off.(Remember, I'm a nurse)

An Italian guy has declared mad passionate love...we haven't met. Scary boy! He says he misses me and please don't break his heart. I think admission to the local bin would be more appropriate

The Beast is still the lovely Beast, and we talk lots. He's so beasty these days, in spite of being a tad unreliable, and I think he's going to be around for a while, in his weird non commital way. He likes, but is another one scared of getting trapped. Oh...if only they all read this blog..they'd realise there's no way.....

It's funny...I don't kid myself I'm not the only one, but they all seem to think they are.Isn't the male ego a wondrous thing? One day I'll confess all and give them this address...hee hee!

Blogs of Note

You may hate this blog, love this blog or be totally indifferent to this blog, but one thing is a given...it will never make Blogs of Note because it doesn't ramble on about bloody computers or travels around the world.
Please...even if you hate this, blogger people, can you be a bit more original? yawn.